Monthly cashflow: zero to none

I have internet and skype again, and I felt creative enough to write a new poem. I wrote it in swedish though and I'm sure as hell aint going to translate it, but anyways, here it goes.

En väggren viskat ord om ting du gjort

Ett barn leker med en radiobilsnart en likbil
Förarns dag har nog varit bra
Råka hugga huvudet av ett barn

En bil snavar över fragilt liv
En slö-eggad kniv
Kvällen varit nog så trevlig tills nu
Fumlande råka köra över någons fru

På kofångarbacken
spelas fotboll ikväll
Det blir mål mitt i krysset
på någons enda vän

Hjul-ljud som misslyckat repade skivor
Nygammal julklapp på stand-by
Splitterny Ipod spelar ljudlösa slingor
För öron som hört fram tills nu

Vid väggrenen vilar vitblekt och svagt
Ett sjukligt sken från din dödvikt
Svartvita ränder över asfaltens lagar
Men är lik inte vackert förmedlat ens i dikt

OOOOO vad EMO!
Who cares. Idk I just felt like writing about it. Got that first sentence stuck in my head when walking home and felt that I had to write it down so that I'd get rid of the thing. Anyways.

I had the english national speaking test today, it was OK. Spoke with Agnes, so it wasn't too bad. I did say some slighly retarded things, but hey, it could've been worse. We had the essay-part last week, wrote alot and it got a bit messy, but hopefully the teacher can understand what it was I wrote.

Me and my bank account are having a slight disagreement. I have 158 sek on my account and 2£ in my wallet. Lovely day. I have enough things to make lunch though so I wont starve. I hope.

Started writing on a new song today. You'll know who it's for when you hear it.

It feels weird that I'm going home again in such a short period of time. I dont know if I'll miss my host family too much, but I'll miss the town and school. I wish they had school like that here. Can't get used to double-line spacing though, but I'll live.

I miss home, I admit that. Didn't start missing it until just before my family came over and visited me though, but after that it really felt like a long way from home. I miss my room, my bed, my computer, my stupid games and the books I've already read too many times.. I miss coming home being able to hang around feeling completely comfortable. It's impossible to do so here. I'd never come home from school, throw my things just in front of the door, make a mess in the kitchen and lie down in the coach watching absolutely nothing on the tv. It just wouldnt happen. I know my host family aren't going to have any students next term. Bet it's because they think I'm no fun. Yet if I went out each night, played with their kid and had dinner with them like some "normal" kind of family, then I'd just be in the way. It's unfair. I have no opportinuty whatsoever to be comfortable because their big mass of "us" is in the way. I wouldn't want my departue to be a problem either so I guess it's just for the better. I almost hope they'll miss me when I'm gone so that they'll realise what a stiff family they've been.. they havent been but, it's just that I would have preferred a family with a more relaxed way of being. As it is now I have to have my dinner alone, after they've eaten, because appearently my existance at the dinner table makes Kiyan complicated. So they're avoiding the problem by avoiding me. Great thinking Einstein. Why solve a problem if you can pretend it doesn't exist by avoiding it? :D Yay!

Shit.. Idk now I'm in a bad mood again. I know it's not my fault any of this, which doesn't really help me, because now I'm pissed off thanks to what idiots there are in this world.
I'm just going to write some well deserved insults, and this is to a whole bunch of people.
You self-assured, ugly, stupid, cheap, greedy, retarded, pathetic, heartless, thoughtless, pointless, only-battling-against-yourself-ish, freakish, sad, discusting and miserable person, please just go DIE!!!!!


Thnx. Feeling better already. Just wished some asses would bother to think about other people than themselves for once. Figure that's impossible when you're a narcissist though.

Well have fun hanging yourself, I'm gonna cheer myself up again by watchign retarded clips on youtube. Cya.